Open your mouth, Evi

Today God gave me a pinch on the arm and a full stomach.

  Lately I've had a bit of thinking time (I actually think this is because I can't find my ipod charger, and so I haven't been listening to music as I go to sleep, so I just think myself to sleep). 

  So I've been addressing a lot of things about myself, and my goals and my calling, and my role in the kingdom, and the role of women (especially in light of International Women's Day) in the body of Christ, etc etc. This is a lot of thinking and very overwhelming, but not a lot of doing, or even seeking answers for questions and confusions that have arisen as a result of all this thinking. I'll think of something and I have no answer and haven't really worked through the issue and it's just stressful.

   Last night was a time when the stress showed itself, when after a lovely day, I thought about something, was at a loss for its answer, and became sullen about it. It was late, but I decided to find out if Madelyn was going to church in the morning, because I thought maybe I should go and get rejuvenated.

  Pause here to let you know what a lazy bum I've been this semester. My corporate worship time had been around 0 this semester. I think I've gone to 2 services. I have no excuse except for laziness. I tell myself it's because I have homework, but I don't end up starting it until I would've been home anyways. Last semester I made Tuesdays my time, and it was great. This semester I usually can't get to the Tuesday one for lack of a ride, but there is never lacking a ride Sunday. I'm just lame.

Play. So I found out she was going, but, oh dear, at that ridiculous hour of 7:30 am. Truthfully, taking that and the fact that we were losing an hour of sleep, I was super close to not going. But something(Someone) said "You bum. You can take a nap later. You function fine on 5 hours of sleep." This was all truth, so I set my alarm for 6:30. I did get up, and felt refreshed, and had delicious P.G Tips and Raisin Bran with Bananas for breakfast. Nom nom.

  So I went with Madelyn to her Sunday school class, which is with a bunch of older ladies. And my older I mean we are the youngest by at least 20 or 30 years. And lo and behold it was a Global Impact Sunday! A missionary lady spoke about her and her family's work in Quebec (they had been missionaries also in France for around 30 years I think), and about the role women are taking in the world today, especially in the church in my generation, and it was fantastic. Missions is my heart music. Sometimes I forget that. So I was blessed by that, took a nice bite of it, and realized that some of my questions were being answered. 

 The main service speaker was George Murray, chancellor of Columbia International University. What a speaker. Let me start with his sermon title: "Is Jesus Christ Really the Only Way of Salvation?" Bam. Whaaat. Yeah. So, it turns out He is. He talked in depth about how because of who Christ is, that is, GOD, and what He did, which is, DIE on the cross for the sins of the WHOLE WORLD, that only He can provide salvation for the WHOLE world, and that being because He is God. How He exchanged himself (1) for ALL. That He paid the FULL penalty of death, 

• that of Physical death--separation of the spirit from the body; when the soldiers went to break His legs, there was no need, He was already dead. 
• That of Spiritual death--separation of the spirit from God; as He cried out "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" there was a clear separation there. 
• And that of Eternal death--the eternal separation of body and spirit from God forever; this is a bit more complex, but because of the character of Jesus, as God, everything He does is eternal, because He is the great I AM, the Lamb slain from the beginning of time, He transcends time. 

 

 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

 Colossians 1:17

"Jesus Christ is-is, is-was, and is-will be."

Man o' days. Was I ever fed. Full to the brim. Stuffed. And this is what God said to me:

 "Evi, look at all this food I have for you, all these answers, all this Truth. I'm here, with bowls and bowls and casseroles to feed you, but you just won't open your mouth you silly girl! I won't pry it open for you, I won't force-feed you, because you'd probably choke or spit it back up. But stop complaining that you're hungry if you won't even open your mouth to eat."

Several big things that had been bothering me, that had been heavy or confusing, were lifted and answered today, simply by one morning of me saying "okay, Lord, feed me!"